Welcome to Asad's Blog

Installing Love - A Geek Way! ;)

2010-02-08T18:26:00.000-08:00

Tech Support: Hearty Greetings! How can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Source: http://post.ly/MYSD

Entrapment - one of the movies I like

2010-01-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

The Dark Knight - One of Best Movies I have seen

2010-01-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

Mission Impossible II- one of the movies I like

2010-01-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

Ocean's 13 - one of the movies I like

2010-01-02T21:31:00.000-08:00

Kill Bill Vol 1 - One of the movies I like

2010-01-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

See How accurate a Program can Read your Mind!

2009-01-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

Choose any two-digit number, add together both digits and then subtract the total from your original number.

When you have the final number look it up on the chart and find the symbol beside it. Click on the crystal ball and It will show you the symbol you are thinking of...

Feed the Fish

2009-01-15T17:24:00.001-08:00

A.R.Rahman Live in Concert LA

2008-03-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

Funny Video

2007-11-06T17:55:00.000-08:00

Andamaina PremaRani

2007-10-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

Background Music

2007-09-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

POTC III

2007-03-23T17:41:00.001-07:00

Pirates of the Caribbean-Returns!!

2007-03-23T17:25:00.000-07:00

A Tribune to Kishore Kumar-By Shahrukh Khan

2007-03-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

Indian Michael Jackson!

2007-03-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

Do NRI's behave the same after returning??

2007-03-12T16:45:00.000-07:00

*****************************

An Indian speaking to his NRI neighbour:

He: Yetla unnavu(Telugu)?
NRI: I speak only English.

He:Ok, How are you?
NRI: Hi, Hello, How are you, I am fine, Thank you and you?

He: How many children you have now?
NRI: Two daughters and both are girls!

He: Who is that man, with you, there?
NRI: He is my Legal Father!

He: What?
NRI: Yeah, Father-in-Law!

He: Being so rich, Why do you travel using Bus or Train only?
NRI: See, Bus Accident-There you are! Train Accident- There you are! Plane Accident- Where you are???????????????

He: Have you studied anything abroad?
NRI: Yeah, I have done L.L.B and am thinking of doing Matriculation!!

He: I heard that the place you stayed had many Kings? By this time you might have known about them?!
NRI: Yeah, I know much about them.

He: Tell me something about them.
NRI: Well, What I know is that All of them died!!

Another Gag!

2007-03-07T14:17:00.001-08:00

Santa : When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!
*******

Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
*******

Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

*******
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
********

Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A &amp; B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
********

Daku "Mangal Singh", Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa..

Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!

********
Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.
Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!

Comedy Show!

2007-03-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

Gag for the day!

2007-03-05T09:51:00.001-08:00

I was standing with my friend at a stop and a new-comer to Chicago approached my friend and told that he don't understand the transit system here. My Friend explained it pretty funny.

See Ji, It's very simple!

Only One Dabba in the city = CTA Bus!

Only One Dabba outskirts = PACE!

Dabbae ke uphar Dabbas and Uske Pheechay bhi same = METRA!

Three Dabbas = Yellow Line!

Four Dabbas = Green Line!

Five Dabbas = Red Line!

Orange Color Dabbas = Orange Line!

Blue Color Dabbas = Blue Line!

Brown Color Dabbas = Brown Line!

Pink Color Dabbas = Pink Line!

Purple Color Dabbas = Purple Line!

By this time the other guy got it and the proof was that he was not there!!!

-Asad.

MTV BAKRA

2007-03-05T09:48:00.001-08:00

Happy Holi!

2007-03-05T08:58:00.001-08:00

Sunil Pal - The Great Indian Laughter Champions

2007-03-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

Childhood FilmStars

2007-03-04T15:42:00.000-08:00

Childhood Photos of some of the Bollywood Stars, Click on the above image to view it larger!

Source: Friend Mailed.

We had a problem~!

2007-02-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

Hi,

Today we had an exam and after coming out I spoke to one of my friends regarding it.

Me: Hi, How was your Exam?!
He: Dude, Rohit never understands me any time!
Me: What happened?
He: Rohit left the Exam Sheet Blank!
Me: Oh! Sad, but so what?
He: Even I left it Blank and if professor see both Papers then he will think that we both copied from each other~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hindi Comedy Scene Part 1

2007-02-27T20:54:00.000-08:00

Amazing! See it for yourself!

2007-02-26T16:19:00.001-08:00

What Happens when some artistic minds come together?? "An Artistic Piece will be Available!!!" See it for yourself!

Another Interesting Indian Ad!

2007-02-26T15:16:00.001-08:00

Burger Magician!

2007-02-26T15:13:00.000-08:00

Interesting Definitions That are sure to make you Giggle out!!

2007-02-26T15:09:00.000-08:00

School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
*********
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
*********
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
*********
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
*********
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
*********
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
*********
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
*********
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
*********
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
*********
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
*********
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
*********
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
*********
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
*********
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
*********
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
*********
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
*********
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
*********
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
*********
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
*********
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
*********
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
*********
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
*********
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
*********
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
*********
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
*********

Munna Bhai Chale America! Trailor is Funny!

2007-02-26T14:56:00.001-08:00

Airtel's Express Yourself! Cool!

2007-02-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

A few Jokes

2007-02-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

"Laziness is our biggest enemy" -Jawaharlal Nehru.

"We should learn to love our enemies"- Mahathma Gandhi.

Which one to follow?... Great confusion.

********

"CELLO "
The pen of india.

"LUX"
The soap of india.

"Amul"
The taste of india.

"I"
The best in india.

"You"
Time waste of india... :-)

OK,OK, DONT GET ANGRY, SWAP THE LAST ONE THEN!!!!!
********

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?

Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

********

Rules for board exam:

har sawal se dat kar ladna,fekne me kami mat karna,mouka mila to peche be dekhna,or 1 bat yaad rakhna aagawala ka paper apna samajhna.

********

What is the height of mixed emotions???

when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes!!!!
********

Whats the height of hope???....

A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme...!!

********

Height of Optimism... Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies", SARDAR Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction" !.

********

INDIA POISED(HINDI VERSION)

2007-02-26T12:50:00.001-08:00

INDIA POISED(ENGLISH VERSION)

2007-02-26T12:48:00.000-08:00

Some Funny Lines!

2007-02-26T12:41:00.000-08:00

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples!!"

Indian Guts!!

2007-02-26T12:24:00.000-08:00

On a ship, the Project manager (PM)s of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys. They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts.

The Company's American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!"

Now the Company's German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!"

Now the Company's Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, "Why the hell should I?" The PM proudly said, "See the guts!".

Cool!

Know what M.P stands for??

2007-02-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY

CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS

OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW

CANDIDATE: MY PERFORMANCE. ...?

OFFICER : M P!!!!

CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR?

OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED

Airtel And A.R.Rehman!

2007-02-26T12:13:00.002-08:00